the reason may still be vague to me , but i've people around me telling me things i couldn't see or things i don't want to see . maybe it's true , i've been pushing people away from me , that's not news but i've been doing a lot more to the extreme for quite some time now . i'd only push them away to see who cared enough to stay and if they leave then they're not worthy to me . but of course , they always leave . and i figure i deserve nothing but the best . i've got these theories that's always proving me right , things have either became too predictable or i have became the next psychic zelda . to have always been right has always been such a curse , especially being right at the time when you don't want to be , now that would be the worst . though people come and go , i don't blame them though , thus may be a cliche but it never cease to be true . from this time onwards , it's me , not you . in a way things have changed , instead of being the one that's always left , i leave . it's easier , no wasting time because in the end , that's how it's going to be . leaving has become such a trend these days , it's a dent on human beings . no one actually stays anymore , not really . well , they're probably not what i'm looking for , so i kick them out before they could come in . don't bother trying . i don't feel like hurting anyone or breaking anyone's heart , it's not a nice thing to do . i guess , this whole not letting anyone in has been a nature of me for a long time . i don't know what's going on with me or even what's wrong as when it comes to me there's always something wrong somewhere . i figure i'd just let it be for now . well , not that i don't want to feel , i just can't . i'm too numb to feel no shit .
i know i'll meet someone one day , someone who drives me insane and keep me sane all at the same time , someone who's capable of keeping up with me and my crazy , someone that despite my million flaws and anything else , he still prefers to stay .
parasuicide